How to FAKE Being “Smart”

000_143d5c1f1.jpg

Ever want to be the SMARTEST person in the room? Its easy – all youve gotta do is PUT DOWN THE BEER CAN!

Ok let me explain.

At some point, you’ll be in a social situation or a professional setting and you’ll suddenly realize that you’re way out of your league and you don’t have a clue what everyone else is talking about… or you’ll realize that you really are smart but everyone thinks you’re not.

There are 2 kinds of “smart people” in the world

  1. People who are BORN smart (thanks to genetics or plain luck); and
  2. People clever enough to know how to FAKE being smart

And if you do that 2nd one RIGHT… then nobody will be able to tell the difference!

I wont tell you which category fall into … but I have a few hacks to making yourself APPEAR to be SMARTER.  This is actually pretty important than you really are:

  • Don’t hold a beer. You might be at a company retreat or a social setting but 99% of the time, people do stupid things after drinking too much…and (sorry to say) beer is the most common drink that leads to “big drunk stupid things.” So if you’re holding a beer, you’re going to look less intelligent (and possibly drunk) no matter what you say.

beer

  • Walk at the same speed as everybody else. Ok this seems stupid BUT studies show that if you walk faster or slower than everyone around you… they tend to think you’re stupid (on a subconscious level). I know… it doesn’t make any sense. Just go with me on this one.

walk

  • Put on glasses. Alright this SEEMS to be an old wives tale but it actually works. Sure you might think you look less attractive… but to everyone else you’ll be looking a whole lot more intelligent.

glasses

  • Use a middle initial. Experts say your middle initial actually has a pretty powerful effect on how people perceive you. In most cases, the middle initial bumps up your perceived social status. If you don’t like your middle initial you can always make up one… who’s going to question it?

middle initial

  • Write simply. Most people think a HUGE vocabulary will make you look smart but you’re at a bigger risk for using a big word in the wrong way … so it could backfire and make you seem stupid. You also don’t want to seem “aloof.” Some of the smartest people speak with the simplest words.

write simple

  • Use graphs. Ok obviously you’re not going to whip out a graph during a casual conversation but the first thing I learned in grad school was that people will believe just about anything if it looks scientific. The best way to make something look official and scientific – use a graph. I worked in the Federal government and this little trick got me out of many a sticky situation.

graphs

  • Speak expressively. Sure… “calm, slow, and serious” used to be the big thing back in the 1950s … but in 2017, a little more excitement goes a LONG way. Feel free to speak a little faster and louder with fewer pauses and greater variation in volume… it’ll make you seem more enthusiastic and knowledgeable about the topic.

expressive

  •  Look people in the eye. Looking at someone while speaking to them will make you seem more confident and give more authority to what you’re saying

look in eye

  • Dress smart. Ok this is a bit of a trial-and-error situation. Dress stylishly … but not boring.

dres ssmart

  • Smile. Stop scowling… if you have “resting b*tch face” then work on getting rid of it. “High intelligence” faces usually smile more.

smile

  • Remove your facial jewelry. Yes… In an “ideal world” everyone would appreciate how unique and brave you are to pierce your entire face… but it’s going to work against you when you’re trying to flaunt your IQ (sorry but it’s true). Plus people will be more focused on your cheek ring than on whatever you’re saying anyway.

face jewelry

  • Be funny. Tricky if you’re not a funny person BUT a good sense of humor is seen as a sign of intelligence. And I’m talking about “funny”… not “goofy dad joke” but “funny dry wit.” This trick also works when trying to score free drinks from the bartender.

funny

  • Always speak with authority. I tell EVERYONE this. Even if you have no CLUE what you’re talking about, speak as if you’re 100% sure of what you’re saying. You’ll always seem like an expert and nobody will challenge what you’re saying for fear THEY could be wrong.

campagna-progressive-capello

Now if you pull this off just right … then any babbling you do this weekend will just make you seem like a crazy genius.  Good luck!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s